How I became the butt of memes

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I’m still waiting for the first time that a meme has made it into my head that I’m the butt, so to speak. 

I have always been the butt for most of my life, so that was the first meme I ever heard about the word, which was a very funny joke.

The joke went something like this: “A woman has an abortion and wants to have a baby.” 

“But if you had one, wouldn’t you be the first to be in the hospital?”

“Uh huh,” she replied. 

“Why would I be the one to be the baby?”

“Because that’s how it goes.” 

I got to be there for that one joke.

 That was the one that first made me feel like I had a leg up on the people around me, because I knew that my mom would be there with me.

I had the same reaction for all of the other ones, too.

I thought they were funny, but I knew they were just the jokes of my friends.

The only time I didn’t feel like a bit of a douchebag was when I went to my first abortion clinic.

I had always wanted to have kids, but it was hard to find a doctor willing to help me. 

It was a weird experience.

It was a big, big pain in the ass.

But I also wanted to be able to make it happen.

I didn`t have a choice.

It was hard.

I think that was my main thing: I wanted to do it, but the process was really hard, and I was scared of the process.

It wasn`t like I was going to go to jail, but there was a lot of fear.

I was afraid of how I was gonna look.

For the first year, I was very uncomfortable with having an abortion.

I couldn`t believe that I could be pregnant and have an abortion, but my doctor told me I was perfectly safe. 

My first abortion was scheduled for March 19, 1995, so I had to wait until the next day. 

The first time I went in there, it was a little bit different than my last one.

I knew it was going have to be a long, slow process, so my mother came with me, and we sat in the waiting room. 

We talked and cried and we talked about it for maybe a few minutes.

My mom was there with us.

She kept saying, `I`m not the type to get upset over anything.

I know this is what happens when you`re pregnant, but please don`t worry. 

But it was so stressful, I couldn’t breathe.

I cried all day.

My mom and I went out and waited, and after an hour or so, I said, `Mom, I`m going to give it my all.

I want you to know, it`s not a big deal.

I`ll get pregnant and I`ve done it before.

It`s just gonna be another pregnancy.

I am okay with it.`I said,`No, you`ll be fine.

I just want you and your mom to know that I`am going to do everything I can.

I have nothing to be ashamed of.`And then I just cried and I cried and cried. 

That night, my mom woke me up and said, `I want you two to go get the ultrasound.

You know what`s gonna happen.’

I said to her, `No, I don`m pregnant.

You`re just gonna go in there and watch.’ 

It`s funny, because she was so upset, she just left. 

Later that day, she told me, ‘I`ve been in there a thousand times.

You just can`t watch me go in.

I don’t even want to hear what`ll happen next.

You have to leave.’ 

I was so scared, because when I saw her in the next room, she was still crying.

At that point, I knew I was just going to have to wait.

But it`d be a little scary.

I mean, I have a pretty good memory.

On the day I went, I just had the ultrasound and saw that there was no heartbeat.

So I took my mother`s hand and I held it and I tried to hold it.

She just kept holding it. 

Then, I had this feeling that I had something wrong.

I tried not to feel that.

I sat in my chair and I thought, `This is not what I want to happen.

What am I supposed to do?

I don´t want to be pregnant.’ 

So I just went back to the waiting area.

And then I felt like, `What the hell?

What is this?

I`d have to get the doctor to come in, because he`s the doctor.

He`ll know what I`re going through.

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